- Jeannie Scott
8 Ways to Boost Your Confidence if You're an Introvert or HSP
Confidence plays a huge role in what we believe we can do and how we do it.
Confidence is one of those traits that everyone is always looking for more of; but regularly put on the back burner, as a ‘nice to have’ once everything else has been ticked off the to-do list.
If you’re an introvert, you’ve probably been subject to the tiresome assumption that you are shy. But us introverts are also entirely capable of being and feeling really confident. The example I often like to give, of an empowered and confident introvert who embodies all the characteristics of introversion, is Brene Brown.
I struggled for years with cripplingly low self-confidence, which kept me doing everything I wanted to do and being all I wanted to be. I don’t want to look back on the past decade with regret (because it’s not helpful). But I do wonder what I could have experienced if I had had a deeper trust and confidence in myself and my abilities.
So, to save you from any possible regret, I want to share 8 ways that I learned to boost my own confidence to go from exhausted and hiding to quietly unstoppable!
*spoiler alert* Changing your personality isn’t one of them.
1. Know they self.
So many people struggle to put themselves ‘out there’ because it’s not actually themselves they’re putting out there. It’s an idea about the kind of person they ‘should’ be; stemming from beliefs they hold about themselves and the world.
2. Listen to the wisdom of your body.
Drop into your body. Tap into the emotions and sensations that are coming up for you when you’re struggling with your confidence. In those moments when it feels like your confidence has taken a hit, listen to the messages your body is giving you. Because if you can feel it, you can recognise it. If you can recognise it, you can release it!
3. Meditation and mindful practice.
If you’re an introvert, chances are you already have a very strong inner voice. A regular mindful practice, like meditation, will help you to harness and strengthen this gift of your inner voice; so that you can approach situations with the conviction of someone who is tapped-the-hell-in to their truth – and if you’ve got conviction, then confidence will just come along for the ride.
Your breathing is affected in moments of anxiety, stress and fear. Your natural reaction, to hold your breath or breathing in a short shallower breathing pattern when is actually making you feel worse.
However, this also means that you have the power to influence your nervous system's fight, flight and rest and digest states, by just using your breath.
As a performer, who lives in anxious body, I have used breathing techniques to calm my nerves for years now. I already knew the incredible power of the breath. But I have also now certified as a breathwork facilitator, and been introduced to its infinite ability to heal and empower.
Breathe with me: inhale for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4. Exhale for a count of 4. Hold for a count of 4.
Repeat this 3 times...
See?! Are you feeling more grounded and confident?
5. Stop avoiding mistakes.
Confidence means trust. Self-confidence means trust in self. Trust is generally earned through seeing evidence to prove that it’s safe to do so. So by avoiding mistakes, you’re preventing yourself from seeing the necessary evidence you need to build trust; the evidence that shows you what you’re truly capable of.
6. Rehearse out loud.
As an introvert, you’ve probably got an incredibly clear inner voice.
If you’ve got a presentation, interview, audition, or just a really important conversation coming, and you want to feel super confident, then I encourage you to take some time to rehearse what you’re going to say aloud. You might be tempted to just go through it in your head and leave it at that, because of the clarity of that inner voice.
But rehearsing out loud will help you to familiarise yourself with the difference that comes from how you hear it in your head and how it's conveyed out loud.
For years, when I was practicing for an audition or learning a script, I would rehearse inwardly. I would practice in my head, hearing, in detail, the nuances of the speech I was learning. But then, I’d get into the room, and when it came to saying the words out loud, I’d falter. There was a complete disconnect between what I’d heard in my head, and what was coming from my body.
You’ll probably feel more confident going into the situation if you’ve taken the time to move the words from your mind and into your mouth.
7. Every day you’re winning
Get into the habit of writing down at least one ‘win’ from the day – even if it’s just that you did some washing or brushed your teeth.
All too often we focus on the things we haven’t crossed off the ‘to do’ list, as opposed to the things we did. And, seriously, how can you expect to feel great about yourself, if you’re only reminding yourself of everything that you haven’t achieved today?
Confidence is trust. Building trust in yourself, means you’ve got a responsibility to you, to earn that trust. And let’s be real, the people who are overly judgemental, and never have anything nice to say about you, aren’t the people you’re trusting with your life. Are they? And the same rules apply when it comes to self-confidence.
At the end of the day, or the beginning of the next, write down at least one thing that you are celebrating from the previous day. There’s no criteria or judgement because you don’t have to share it with anyone else – it’s your win!
8. Become obsessed with your strengths.
Experiment; ask trusted friends and family; do a personality test; journal on it etc. and start learning where your strengths lie. What makes you amazing? What are you an absolute genius at? What are you known for? What comes effortlessly to you? Get obsessed with your strengths, and focus more time and more energy into the areas that emphasise use and highlight these strengths.
Knowledge is power. So, knowing, inside-out, the recipe of ingredients that make you a uniquely incredible human being, is f***ing powerful!
Now that I’ve let you in on the secret sauce for lasting confidence, you can start applying some of the above to your day-to-day life.
To be your most confident self you need to feel energised and powerful! An introvert hangover, or social battery at 2% is going to make it SOOO much harder for you to feel your most confident. Make sure to download my free guide: Introvert Power Save Mode: 4 Ways to Hold Onto Your Energy in a World Built for Extroverts to hack this world no set up for your energetic needs.